I love the New Year season, mostly for all the reviews and predictions. Perhaps I value the process of self-reflection that occurs with every re-examination list, whether our culture takes stock of its literary accomplishments with 2009’s Top Fiction Titles, or we explore the state of the American musician through the Decade’s 50 Best Nipple-Slips and Crotch Shots. Maybe all those predictions resemble something like societal goal setting. Or maybe I just like reading articles in numbered form because, you know, they usually have fewer words.

Either way, V1 ran all of its writers through an ESP test for predictive ability. I correctly guessed that the animal our editor was thinking of was a “miniature dwarf pony,” so I will be putting my apparently considerable prognosticative powers into a few forecasts for the upcoming year(s). Instead of dividing these on some sort of time line, I will separate my “visions” based on my confidence in them. Some are community-focused, others are national, and several are personal predictions. Nostradmus and all the powerful ancients, speak through me …

Prophecies Of Which I Am Totally Confident
    In 2010, I will continue losing hair, and by the end of the decade I will face difficult decisions about head shaving or hair replacement technology. Obviously, this one didn’t require too deep a look into the crystal ball, but in terms of the things that will be worrying me over the next several years, there you have it.

In 2010, and into the several years that follow, music will continue growing as an important cornerstone of local culture. Justin Vernon’s popularity explosion (and his inclusion on lists of 50 Best Albums of the Entire Freakin’ Decade) and the success of Daredevil Christopher Wright, Laarks, Meridene, and others do not represent some sort of lottery win. They are simply the first of many dividend checks this community will receive on its musical investments, including award-winning high school and university music programs, great music venues, music in Phoenix Park, etc. As a corollary, I predict we will see the re-emergence of the Stones Throw this year.

Divinations That I Really, Really Hope Will Come To Pass
    In the early parts of this decade, area schools will solve their budget problems. After years of cuts, teachers and parents are frustrated with declining services and increasing class sizes. The community is frustrated with perceived waste in the school system. But, this town is too education-centered to not find a solution that doesn’t gut our schools or taxpayers’ bank accounts. We have a major university, excellent test scores, and strong traditions in sports, music, art, and academics. It will come around.

In the next few years, the gol-darn, flingin’-flangin’ jail will be built, in the original location. Not to discredit the incredible work done by the people passionately opposed to putting the jail on the river, but as far as I see it, it comes down to this – in slow economic times and with a wealth of empty retail and office space, this city will not see a whole lot of interest in erecting brand new empty buildings on First Avenue. So, your options are an attractive new jail that maintains business and traffic downtown, or empty dirt lots and the loss of downtown business. Like it or not, that’s an easy decision.

Visions That Have Come to Me That I Seriously Doubt
    In 2010, Eau Claire will host the filming of a major motion picture. Eau Claire’s name is getting out there in the creative world. But just like they seem to get all the cool weather and mid-sized city accolades, I’m sure Hollywood would pick stupid La Crosse for western Wisconsin film glory because their river is bigger and they have dumb bluffs.

Starting next week, Taco John’s will invest in odor-reduction technology. The only thing I don’t love about my East Hill home is the smell of Potato Olés every time I step out my door. I’ve really got my fingers crossed for this one.

Predictions That Do Not Have a Chance
    In 2010, significant steps will be taken towards the building of a civic arena. Building anything large around here is like pulling teeth out a raving, spitting city council meeting attendee. Someone always has a “good” reason to oppose any major construction – it’s too far away from downtown (Waterford), it won’t look pretty on the river (jail), Carson Park’s trees will feel crowded (student housing). We have to get over our fear of large structures and swallow some inevitable objections if we ever want anything to happen.

In 2010, Volume One will open a tour wing, purchasing a double-decker bus so the Big Week guys can take tourists around to the local sites. We were really, really close to making this happen, but Trevor, the “Break It Down” guy from VolumeOne.org’s weekly video-cast, gets seriously, morbidly car sick. But you can still have a great 2010, even without the bus. Happy New Year!