Congratulations! You moved to Eau Claire to be closer to Nature. Now summer approaches and one question comes to mind: What do I wear? You’ve assembled the perfect outdoor outfit: a faded flannel shirt, Italian hiking boots, and a Carhart knit cap to fit over your glorious head of hair. But something’s missing, Pilgrim. Your pants!  

Face it, the North Woods can be a scary place with black bears, timber wolves, and men in blaze orange hats. Skinny jeans won’t cut it north of Highway 29. You need something tougher. Trousers that say: I’m rugged but not a fashion idiot. You need ADVENTURE PANTS!  

Forty years ago, our founder Nils Torgesson returned from a North Woods camping trip in ordinary jeans that left him cold, wet, and deeply humiliated. So Nils created the toughest, most durable, least apologetic pants in the world! Hand-stitched by hardy Finnlanders in the remote Penokee Hills of northern Wisconsin, every pair of ADVENTURE PANTS is pre-shrunk in a wood-fired sauna and then thrown in a snowbank for the duration of the winter. Only then do they receive the coveted red label on the back pocket: SISU, which is Finnish for “My Pants Are Tougher Than You Are!” 

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They’re woven from a special blend of recycled plastic and organic cotton then sprayed with beeswax to make them windproof, waterproof, and resistant to most forms of irony.

john hildebrand

author

ADVENTURE PANTS combine cutting-edge style with aggressive performance. They’re woven from a special blend of recycled plastic and organic cotton then sprayed with beeswax to make them windproof, waterproof, and resistant to most forms of irony. The knees are reinforced with colorful rip-stop nylon patches. And spandex crotch panels allow freedom of movement without compromising your personal package. Feeling disrespected? Hang a sheath knife from the belt loop or, better yet, a throwing axe. See if folks don’t give you a wider berth! Caught in a heat wave, a tropical heat wave? Simply unzip the leggings on your ADVENTURE PANTS and voila!-- ADVENTURE SHORTS! Pair them with suspenders for a knee-slapping lederhosen look!

Don’t confuse ADVENTURE PANTS with your old man’s “Tactical” Trousers, you know, the baggy, camouflage pants favored by people who carry guns and kidnap governors. ADVENTURE PANTS are designed for hipsters like yourself who are deeply committed to the outdoors even if you haven’t a clue what to do there.

Did I mention pockets? ADVENTURE PANTS are plastered with pockets! Keep a notebook in our roomy cargo pocket to jot down your reflections and post them later on Facebook. Take a selfie in the woods and write: “I am humbled by trees.” Or jump in a river and write: “I am one with the river.” Or immortalize that girl in Creative Writing Class who told you to take a hike in lyrics that you’ll sing in a heartbreaking falsetto.  

What’s your next adventure? Paddle Board the Yukon River? Fat Tire down the Continental Divide? Hike the Brooks Range? Or sit in a coffee shop in ADVENTURE PANTS looking like you might do those things once your latte arrives?  

ADVENTURE PANTS aren’t for everyone. They’re not for the timid put off by a $300 price tag. Ain’t pants you’re buying, Pilgrim. It’s credibility! And the coveted SISU label! 

To order, specify color: Moody Heather…Lonesome Wheat Field… Dangerous Olive Drab 

And size: Willowy…Extra Big Boy…El Grande!