HIGH FIVE: 5 Things Kwik Trip Can Put in a Bag Instead of Milk
after more than 40 years, the bagged milk is no more, but we’ve got other bagged ideas
Kwik Trip, the Midwest’s beloved convenience store and gas station, recently announced it is discontinuing its bagged milk after more than four decades of selling it due to a decline in sales compared to its milk in jugs. The change will be implemented by May. Luckily, we just came up five more items Kwik Trip can sell in bags.
1. BAG OF FRIED CHICKEN
Kwik Trip’s latest campaign promoting its fried chicken contains some … choice slang. It was described as having “serious rizz” in promotional signage, while other phrases include “Our chicken just hits different” and “Chicken that slaps,” among others. Take that however you want, but at this point, just put it in a gallon-sized bag at a good price and I’ll buy it, OK?
2. BAG OF SLUSHY
Listen, I could get a Mega Buddy-sized Slushy, but sometimes it just isn’t big enough. Put it in a huge, slappable bag, give me an appropriately-sized straw, and I’ll be on my way.
3. BAG OF CHERRY DUNKERS
Kwik Trip’s donuts – specifically, the Dunkers – are a welcome surprise in our office’s break room, typically brought in by some kind-souled coworker who knew we all needed the sugary boost. But seriously, a six-pack? Who does that help? Put 50 Cherry Dunkers (my personal favorite, and I’ll stand on that hill) in a bag, now.
4. BAG OF KARUBA
Obviously, to go along with my 50 Cherry Dunkers in a bag, I will require a gallon-sized bag of iced Karuba to-go. The specialty iced drink machines are cute and fun, but the cups are certainly not fun-sized. An insulated bag fit to carry my gallon of iced Karuba coffee will be fun-sized and functional, probably.
5. BAG OF GAS
Whatever, you knew this was coming. Is that safe? No. Is that practical? Not really. But is it convenient? If the bag has handles, then maybe. But since Kwik Trip is a gas station, I’m putting it on this list. Bag of Gas. Go.